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Joke of the Day

"My ex left me for an attorney. It makes me smile every day to know he hasn't won an arguement for 15 years."

"""Why don't you have kids yet?"" is a great question, ma'am, but I'm saving that conversation for the right total stranger at this gym."

"Definition: Coffin What they carry you offin."

"*standing outside your house I was totally going to stalk you but... *pets your dog instead"

"isnt it so weird when youre thinking about someone and they suddenly appear? Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating"

"How do you have a party in space?! YOU PLANET! :D"

"""Everybody freeze!"" -November"

"Relationships are a lot like algebra Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"That Gorilla from Ohio.... and the small black boy. Utter mismatch. James vs. Curry"

"2 Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine, both in hospital...one's in a korma.."