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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fat lady that can tell your future? A four-chin teller"

"What do you call a group of men in a flying car having unsatisfying sexual intercourse with a single woman because they feel sorry for her? A shitty pity gangbang."

"Why won't the machines just take over already? I'm tired of doing stuff."

"If you wore corduroy to a job interview, what kind of an impression would you leave? I feel like this is a great setup, but I can't think of a punchline. Any help, reddit?"

"50 mph winds here and I looked out the window and saw a package of Oreos fly by my house. At this rate, I will never have to leave for food."

"what's common between a puppy and a good book ? both are easy to pick up but hard to put down"

"I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over."

"Back in the 70's I met this really cool blind man He was really outta sight!"

"LPT: Microwave your spoon first to make scooping out ice cream easier. It warms up the spoon and makes the process less frustrating."

"What do women and hand grenades have in common? When you pull the ring off, your house goes away."