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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fat lady that can tell your future? A four-chin teller"

"Anyone know any kid-friendly jokes about burgers? Extra points if it can be about a burger monster (don't ask)."

"Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead."

"I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed... How could anyone stoop so low?"

"A squirrel found big nuts to stock up in its tree. Now i have a empty nutsack and a burning tree."

"Your loud tweeting woke me up. Someone must have typed in all caps."

"If you've already died hard, how can you die harder, with a vengeance, live free and die hard again and then find a good day to die hard?"

"I hate when my iPod earbud cord gets hung on an object and it violently rips the earbud out and I get that murder-y feeling."

"Go ahead lady, call the cops. I have witnesses that say your toddler started it."

"How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ? They sit eggsaminations !"