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Joke of the Day

"Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King? Because you have to court her before you pound her."

"[caught hiding something in the garbage] gf: are you eating hot wings again? me: no gf: oh really, then touch your eyes me: god damnit"

"never trust a persom who speaks in absolutes"

"I'm not racist. I hate all races equally. Especially the 100 meter dash. All short and Olympickish."

"What do you call a pirate from Ireland?? Arrrish"

"Why is divorce so expensive? Its worth it!"

"White people dance like they have an invisible hula hoop around their waist."

"My pics are real. I don't use any filters. I don't even use coffee filters. I eat coffee straight outta the container like a man"

"What's your favorite ""grosser than gross"" joke? Mine is hickey on a hemorrhoid."

"What did one lonely penis say to the other? I just want to belong."