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Joke of the Day
"never trust a persom who speaks in absolutes"
Next Joke
"What did the pool cleaner say to the impatient swimmer? Whoa, whoa, whoa... Wade just a minute."
"A man went to the movie.. A man went to the movie theater's ticket window a second time and said, ""One more."" ""For The Hobbit?"" the ticket vendor asked. ""No,"" the man replied, ""That's my girlfriend."""
"Why can't some snakes get boners? Because they have a reptile dysfunction."
"[Whole Foods] ME: Hi CLERK: Hello ME: Do you...uh CLERK: Do we what? ME: Do you have any...uh CLERK: Go on ME: Do you have any Half Foods?"
"People question the Christmas present I got for my mother They say a fridge is a terrible gift when she already has one. But when I saw here face light up upon opening it, all doubts where gone."
"Consent... The only way to stop rape 100% of the time!"
"Why did the gingers shoe break Because it had no sole."
"Cop: You were speeding. Me: Objection your honor. Cop: I'm not a judge. Me: Permission to approach the bench. Cop: What? Me: Sustained."
"So apparently there's a team of refugees at the olympics this year. Do you reckon the Syrian refugees are on the rowing team?"