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Joke of the Day

"Decades of video games have left me unjustifiably overconfident in my ability to break open a wooden crate."

"If plastic bags could be used as currency, my mom would be on a Forbes list."

"I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade"

"What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common? Their last big hit was the wall."

"I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said -Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?- -Yes officer but I wasn't going to be out that long.-"

"A son to his mother: Mum, I don't like grandma. The mother: Shut up, we eat what we have!"

"How did Harry Potter go down the hill Walking.... JK Rowling"

"What can save Russian Bear Snow den."

"What does Snoop Dogg eat when he visits Montreal? Smoked Meat Every Day."

"Retweet this if you think they should make gallon sized Caprisuns and have it still be a squeezable.. Think about it."