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Joke of the Day

"Now that people with zodiac tattoos feel stupid, I'm waiting for China to change its alphabet and indians to start clubs instead of tribes."

"If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate,, it is not me. I believe I've been hacked."

"A naked man brushed his teeth next to me as I washed my hands. This is why I don't go to the gym often."

"It's not a great nap, unless you wake up and can't remember what day it is."

"I've decided to always wear a Seahawks jersey to exams when I forget to study for them. That way I'll pass when I shouldn't."

"""What are you doing here?"" I just got fired from the circus ""Oh my"" Yeah, the calibration on my cannon was way off. I landed in your pond"

"I got fired from work on pajama day... It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"I've recently obtained a book on the guidelines of masturbation So far, I've stuck to it."

"How do you get gum out of your hair? Q: How do you get gum out of your hair? A: Cancer."

"[dog park] Go get it, boy! *dog returns with silver watch, silver bracelet & silver necklace* Ugh, you're the worst golden retriever ever"