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Joke of the Day

"I've decided to always wear a Seahawks jersey to exams when I forget to study for them. That way I'll pass when I shouldn't."

"Why are monkeys pedantic? Because they love nitpicking."

"""Why didn't any of you go back and kill Hitler?"" TIME TRAVELER: We prioritized stopping Zortho the Endless Scourge in 1935. ""Who?"" TT: Bingo"

"My nose won't stop running. But, to be fair, it's the only part of my body that's still in shape."

"Why are homosexuals so well dressed? Because they didn't just spend all that time in the closet doing nothing..."

"You'll never guess what my login name is. Constipated."

"him: what do u wanna be? me: I wanna be a cat that transforms into a misty fog when people try to pet me him: wtf, I meant for Halloween?"

"Local mom loses 190 pounds with this one simple trick! She sold my weight set at the damn garage sale."

"If I yawn, and the person talking says, 'Sorry for boring you', I graciously accept their apology. Because, manners."

"Japan got Imperialist Cancer... But thank God it was an easy cure, all it took was two sessions of radiotherapy."