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Joke of the Day

"""What are you doing here?"" I just got fired from the circus ""Oh my"" Yeah, the calibration on my cannon was way off. I landed in your pond"

"Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth? Fred: I don't know Sir. Teacher: Come on Fred it has something to do with an apple. Fred: Granny Smith?"

"How will you know your sister has period? When you taste blood in your father's dick"

"There's a special place in he'll for autocorrect"

"The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was that one night stand."

"Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks ""Do all of you want a drink?"" The first logician says ""I don't know."" The second logician says ""I don't know."" The third logician says ""Yes!"""

"What do sex and air have in common? It's no big deal unless you aren't getting any. Heard on the radio."

"who called it an infinity scarf instead of a scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"Found out a guy I dated was in jail for attempted murder. He never even tried to take me camping, I'm not even good enough to kill."

"This year for Lent, I'm just giving up."