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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick Question! Feminists can't change anything."

"""SIRI, WHERE'S THE REMOTE?"" -- ""SIRI, BRING ME A BEER!"" -- ""SIRI, WHERE'S MY DINNER?"" -- Wife: ""She's either deaf, or had sex with you too."""

"Walking a straight line and tweeting is hard enough without this asshole shining a flashlight in my eyes."

"Today, Apple is announcing to the world that millions of baby boomers still don't know how to rip mp3 files from their record collections."

"What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes? What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch? Matt."

"How was marriage instituted? A bunch of prostitutes wanted to start a labor union."

"What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home."

"I see London. I see France. This is a very comprehensive Atlas."

"The junkie tried but couldn't quit All of his efforts were in vein"

"I don't have tinted windows on my car because if people don't like watching me dance, they can tint their own goddamn windows."