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Joke of the Day

"I see London. I see France. This is a very comprehensive Atlas."

"I was going to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper. But there was no plot."

"Why do blondes wear panties? To keep their ankles warm."

"What's the difference between your child and your husband? At least you can leave your child alone with the babysit"

"What's the difference between people on Reddit and dead people? Dead people had lives."

"HELP!!! I forgot it's Mother's Day! I need some quick Mother's Day Present."

"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Blow a little boogie into it!"

"Did you hear the one about the pilot who backed into the propeller? Wrecked'em. Damn near killed him."

"My wife and I were having a bad fight when I looked down on the counter and saw a coffee mug that read 'domestic violence ends with me'... So I hit her with that."

"Imagine how slutty girls would dress if Halloween was in July."