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Joke of the Day

"Apparently I watch too much internet porn.... At least that's what my ebony girlfriend says."

"Me: I know exactly what's wrong with me, Doctor. Dr: I told you no Google. You Googled, didn't you? Me: NO! Dr: <blink> Me: One TINY Google."

"I'm a Chemical Engineer and I have some good Chemistry jokes. ... but I never get a good reaction."

"Cat doesn't realize if he succeeds in tripping me on the way downstairs to feed him, we all die."

"I moustache you a question but I'm shavin' it for later Sean Connery."

"My grandfather has the heart of a lion, ... and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo."

"Hockey is a sport where people use feet knives to walk so they can score a goal with a tiny hamburger."

"Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?"

"tight pants What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? no ballroom."

"I was shopping with my 4yo the other day... when he suddenly exclaimed infront of the hot cashier that ""Daddy has a penis!"" I was so embarrased. Big penis honey, big penis."