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Joke of the Day

"Today, Apple is announcing to the world that millions of baby boomers still don't know how to rip mp3 files from their record collections."

"TIL that it is difficult to be a good person as there is only so small a distance between an asshole and a pussy."

"If I was a police sketch artist I would be like ""is this the guy?"" And they would be like ""nope that's a barn"" because I can only draw barns"

"Me and My Friends Play Yu-Gi-Oh In The Shed We call it the Shed-O-Realm."

"ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong"

"My wife and I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went But then it dawned on us."

"What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog."

"I am forming a new punk band! We are called ""young boys getting sodomised by fat middle aged men"". Search for us on google!"

"Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke? Because he is the one who knocks."

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get their ears pierced? A Buccaneer."