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Joke of the Day
"I sleep like a baby at night, rarely and with short bursts of crying and pooping, sometimes both"
Next Joke
"There are two types of people in the world: those who need closure"
"What's the difference between Sara Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing came out of her vagina."
"Did I mention ... I can't believe it's nearly Christmas. I once tried to balance a board on two wheels. Did I mention I make terrible segways?"
"My two teenagers are very different. My son always wants money, whereas my daughter prefers the convenience of my credit card."
"How does Lord Voldemort like his pussy? (whisper) HHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY"
"What do you get when you cross peanuts and almonds? Deez Nutz"
"Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan."
"Why did the hipster burn his tounge? Because he ate his food before it was cool."
"Dark humor is like kids with cancer... Never gets old"