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Joke of the Day

"Is high blood pressure contagious? Because I think I'm getting it from my patients."

"One man's girlfriend is another man's Twitter password."

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong WALKED on the moon. Michael Jackson fucked little boys."

"What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11? 10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion"

"Ran into my ex gf today... I put it in reverse and hit her again"

"There were elections in the United States. Tom Hanks went to cast his vote. As soon as he came out of the polling booth after doing so, everyone started applauding. Why? It was a vote of T. Hanks."

"How an Illuminati living in the arctic is called? An Igloominati"

"What's the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen? Snow balls!"

"Damn it mom. Boy: Mom do I look good? Mom: Ask your girlfriend. Boy: I don't have a girlfriend. edit: ."

"I was at the park today by the playground. A mother asked me which kid was mine. ""I haven't decided yet.""."