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Joke of the Day

"There were elections in the United States. Tom Hanks went to cast his vote. As soon as he came out of the polling booth after doing so, everyone started applauding. Why? It was a vote of T. Hanks."

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"What is Bill Cosby's favorite cocktail? A Cosbypolitan"
"What is a Coronation Street resident's least favourite football team? Tramnear Rovers"
"What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon. Ones fun to smash with a mallet and the other ones a dead baby."
"[couple who talks via walkie talkie] GIRL: [into walkie] this relationship is over, over GUY: *cries into walkie* it's roger isn't it?? over"
"In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour"
"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a big fall. All the kings and all the kings men..   had scrambled eggs for breakfast again."
"New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out."
"What's ten inches long and white? Not a damn thing! I thought it was time we had some racist jokes towards someone who isn't black for once ;D"
"My Australian friend asked a Kiwi: ""What's a Hindu?"" ""...it lays iggs."""