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Joke of the Day

"There were elections in the United States. Tom Hanks went to cast his vote. As soon as he came out of the polling booth after doing so, everyone started applauding. Why? It was a vote of T. Hanks."

"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fcuk me the pass the parcel was quick!"

"Why is a viola solo like a bomb? By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it. A long list of viola jokes: http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola.html"

"Looks like Subway finally has a good excuse for their footlongs being less than 12 inches Anything under 12 is better for Jared."

"kids telling dirty jokes http://www.vice.com/series/kids-telling-dirty-jokes best. shit. ever."

"A frittata is just an omelette that studied abroad for a year in college."

"What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete? Someone who pole-vaults without a pole."

"Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents."

"What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet? Swiping and wiping."

"I went to an orgy for squares and was confused by their one weird rule. Don't fuck around!"