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Joke of the Day
"Ran into my ex gf today... I put it in reverse and hit her again"
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"Best Ever Comedy Movies - Can You Guess The Movie Quote"
"What is the definition of suspicion? A nun doing push ups in a cucumber field."
"You know whats hard? Bricks."
"I have sychic powers. For example, right now you're thinking, ""it's psychic."""
"Where can you find the strongest tea? Cliffsides (because it's so steep)."
"Every TEDTalk seems like a fake laugh convention."
"[dark alley] Here's the $3 million, thanks again for this, be sure to send pictures. Kidnapper: Wait, don't you want your kids back?"
"What do Ryan Lochte and the water in Rio have in common? They're both full of shit."
"Doctor gets a call...My husband just swallowed aspirin By mistake, what should I do? Doctor: give him some headache now! It will help!"