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Joke of the Day

"Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I've never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people I already know."

"I speak both universal languages: 1. English 2. Louder & slower English"

"Just heard my neighbor say ""Wow"" from inside her house about the fart I just did inside mine."

"New Italian Navy Why does the new Italian Navy use glass bottoms in their ships? So the can see the old Italian Navy."

"I think one of my dads might be gay..."

"What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes? Anyone can mash potatoes"

"I never knew how smart Dolphins were... They are so smart that after only a few weeks of captivity they can train humans to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Caitlin ! Caitlin who ? Caitlin you my trainers tonight I'm wearing them !"

"What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building? C4 yourself!"

"Trust me, I'm a liar. Lawyer, I meant lawyer."