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Joke of the Day

"What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? fitting in"

"Why did the skeleton cross the road? to get to the body shop : )"

"Three tampon's walking down the street... Which one says ""Hi""? None, they are all stuck up cunts."

"I have a time machine for sale. If interested, call me two weeks ago."

"I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy cheap toilet paper."

"My doctor said he couldn't prescribe me with Viagra. No hard feelings."

"A boy came home with a C+ in music. He said with great vigor, ""I got an A-"""

"If mobile wallets do away with credit cards, they'll need to come up with an app that can scrape my windshield."

"*drives up to liquor store door, honks horn *wine jumps off shelf, hops into my car *speeds off"

"It's so annoying when people make fun of what other people are wearing. Like yeah, this dress is a little tight, my legs are a little hairy, and my dick is hanging out but still!"