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Joke of the Day

"With Instagram's new video function, we will now be able to hear the quacks from all the duck faces."

"What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and milk? Chocolate milk! What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and chocolate milk? Diabetes"

"Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike."

"If you can recite the alphabet backwards to a police officer they will arrest you for fingering a minor."

"My nickname for my mother is Hannibal Lecture."

"How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None. They like to live in the darkness."

"If you ever need someone to look like a complete idiot in your photographs, I'm your guy."

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."

"Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel? She was trying to blow the horn"

"It's actually pretty tough to write a Reddit joke that insults Trump supporters. Because they probably can't read it."