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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and milk? Chocolate milk! What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and chocolate milk? Diabetes"

"Do not trust atoms... They make everything up."

"I can always tell what my present is off Iggy Azelea because she's really bad at wrapping."

"My phone just autocorrected mornin to Mormon and now it won't stop making macaroni pictures and having sex with multiple phone wives."

"Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp."

"Roll, roll, roll your joint, Twist it at the end, Spark it up and take a puff, Then pass it to a friend."

"[god, creating ducks] Just like put a surfboard mouth on a big pigeon and make it like a loud idiot. I don't know"

"Why did the blind kid fail geometry? He didnt see the point."

"Rant ""What do we want!?"" ""No daylight savings!"" ""When do we want it!?"" ""An hour ago!!!"""

"Are candles happy or sad when they are put out? They are delighted."