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Joke of the Day

"How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None. They like to live in the darkness."

"What's the only thing better than Roses on a Piano? Answer: Tulips on an Organ."

"""NO YOU'RE DRUNK,"" she says playfully into the mirror, then promptly resumes disappointing her boyfriend's mom at family dinner."

"Once I went to a zoo with only one animal. It was a shih tzu."

"What did the leper say to the hooker? keep the tip. ;)"

"I watched a tv show about beavers today... Best dam program I've ever seen!"

"whats the difference between me and the bible? i'm easy to read"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill the Irish? None."

"Policeman: What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour? Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident."

"Walking around Brooklyn, slapping people's brunches to the ground."