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Joke of the Day
"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."
Next Joke
"Why don't lawyers have sex with their clients? To prevent double billing."
"Pupil: In other schools pupils get a choice of computers to use. Teacher: You get a choice her too. Use the one we've got or don't use any at all."
"I beat my wife at dominoes last night... She really needs to remember that **I** choose the toppings."
"In the future a kid asks his grandfather a question. -Grampa? What does this tattoo mean? -Ahh, sonny, it's TIFU. Today I ff...uck."
"I'm sorry, this suitcase is overweight. You're gonna have to take some stuff out and put it in a different bag so the plane doesn't crash."
"How do you make an ugly baby? Ask your parents."
"What was the man running around ? - from my 5yr old son Because he wanted to catch some sleep."
"Throw away the outside, cook the inside. Eat the outside, throw away the inside. What is it? [riddle] Cut on red needles, only nine trees heave empty crackers on bulls. [best of luck]"
"What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy? A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one."