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Joke of the Day

"Why are you screaming my name? I'm right here.. Having sex is weird."

"[pitching script] WRITER: then the motorcyclist removes their helmet... PRODUCER: *yawns*...and its a woman? W: it's a burrito P: holy shit"

"Little kids will love this one .... promise ... How high does a frog stand in the water? Knee-deep."

"I don't like dodecahedrons They are too edgy for me."

"A couple of obducents stood at the bar talking. -You Should have seen the other day. I had a beautiful lady come in and her clitoris was like a pickled cucumber. -Wow! So big? No, so salty!"

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! The job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in his jeans."

"Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!"

"Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we'd still be talking about how we're not finding that airplane."

"A doctor tells his patient he's got only six months to live. But the patient doesn't pay his bill on time, so the doctor gives him another six months."

"Me: tries to sleep Brain: M: B: M: B: M: B: if one synchronized swimmer drowns do the others have to drown too?"