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Joke of the Day

"I heard they made a movie about the Connect Four game. I think it was called the human centipede."

"[Donald Trump's election speech] ""America, I have only 1 thing to say"" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* ""YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"""

"I hate ""two-faced"" people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first."

"does anyone know a knock knock joke that's actually funny? most of the ones i have heard are not funny at all."

"Why could the witch never get the enchantments right? She forgot to use Spell Check."

"Park Ranger: *Looking at morbidly obese ducks* Was this you? Jesus: *trying to hide the rapidly multiplying bread loaves* No sir"

"Q: How many Ethiopians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to change it and two to squabble over who gets to eat the packaging."

"DO NOT expect a ""Bless You"" after your 3rd sneeze. Get that shit under control."

"Why are hurricanes sometimes named after girls? because When they come they're wild and wet like hurricanes, but when they go they take your house and car"

"The cheesiest joke ever. ""I don't feel grate."" -- Block of Cheese before it got shredded."