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Joke of the Day

"""She's smart, has a great personality, an unbelievable body, and she makes an amazing duckface in pictures."" - No man ever"

"Why did the Cephalopod get coal for christmas? Because he was on the nautilust."

"It's pretty stupid how cats will just play with the same toy over and over as if it might do something new. Hold on, gotta check my iPhone."

"What would you call a very funny mountain? Hill Arious!"

"How do Reavers clean their spears? They run them through the Wash :("

"I sent in a list of my top ten puns to the newspaper hoping at least one would be selected for the joke of the day. Sadly, no pun in ten did."

"Relationship status: I ran out of toilet paper a week ago. Update: I am now running out of paper towels."

"From a funny Twitter post If rather die than commit suicide."

"""I'd kill you if I thought I could get away with it"".......things that were said to me during my divorce. Hey guy's, she's available!"

"The town emergency siren sounds. I peer out my bedroom window. ""It can't be"" I mutter. ""Honey, grab the kids. Hot local singles are coming."""