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Joke of the Day

"I've been watching a bird do a mating dance for half an hour now, it's working, I want him."

"What can run out before you've had a chance to use it? Slaves."

"If you ever get hit by a car, try to spin like a ballerina. You won't get another chance like this."

"""Hey mom, where could I buy some paperclips?"" ""Staples?"" ""No....Paperclips."""

"Vegetarian Club I met a girl that said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but i had never met herbivore."

"Why don't melons ever run away and get married? Because they cantaloupe"

"Cop1:did u hear about the kidnapping? Cop2: should we go help? Cop1: No it's ok he woke up. This fall on CBS ""Good Cop, Dad Cop"""

"Parkour is truly the sport that best represents what it would look like if god was running from the cops"

"How many Sand People does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No one knows. They ride single file to hide their numbers."

"What do you call coffee on the floor? Ground Coffee."