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Joke of the Day

"Parkour is truly the sport that best represents what it would look like if god was running from the cops"

"How do you make cottage cheese? You shake a baby."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow that got promoted? He was outstanding in his field..."

"If my mom had just faked having a headache I wouldn't be writing this bullshit on the internet right now"

"I have a cramp in my penis... could you rub it for me?"

"I'm leaving reddit"

"I just found out I had sex with a monkey in a previous life You cant blame me though because it was really long ago, and I was the first Human that wasnt fully a monkey myself."

"On talk shows, whenever the celebrity guest takes a casual sip from their branded mug, I like to imagine it's full of blood"

"What does a philosopher put his/her food on? A contemplate"

"Do you think Gillette employees ever call in Schick to work?"