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Joke of the Day

"Cop1:did u hear about the kidnapping? Cop2: should we go help? Cop1: No it's ok he woke up. This fall on CBS ""Good Cop, Dad Cop"""

"A conversation between 3 partially deaf elderly men. Elder 1: It's windy! Elder 2: No, it's thursday! Elder 3: Right, let's all get a cuppa tea shall we?"

"(Arrives in rescue boat to aid sinking cruise ship full of today's pop artists, saves only Lorde and Sia, speeds away)"

"Just changed my Facebook name to 'No one' So when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say 'No one likes this'"

"What is a rifle with three barrels? A trifle."

"Have you ever tried North Korean food? [Neither have they](#s)"

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat the fuck out of her so it doesn't happen again."

"Nothing is creepier than driving next to someone on the highway at the exact same speed."

"A sadist and a masochist meet The masochist starts pleading, ""Hit me! Please hit me!"" The sadist looks at him, smiles, and calmly replies, ""No."""

"What did the man with a 10inch dick have for breakfast? I didn't think you would know, but I had steak and eggs."