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Joke of the Day

"How many Sand People does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No one knows. They ride single file to hide their numbers."

"God put a perfect woman in every corner of the world. Then he made the earth round."

"You couldn't even imagine how good I am at taking a fake phone call to get out of a boring conversation. It's Oscar worthy."

"What is the difference between a mechanical and civil engineer? The former builds weapons, the latter targets"

"I wish I was 7'9"" so my BMI would be normal"

"The contents of my son's last diaper was so upsetting to both of us we shared a cigarette after I changed it."

"Why do giraffes have such long necks? Because their heads are so far from their bodies."

"What is feared by jailbirds and splits light into different colors? Prism rape."

"My grandpa said that my generation relies too much on technology So I said ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" And I unplugged his life support."

"At Walgreens I asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and said, ""Make it 52""."