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Joke of the Day

"One day I'd like to donate to the porn industry for all the free porn I've watched. They've gotten me through some hard times."

"An anteater walks into a bar... ""First the horse, now this asshole"" remarked the bartender. Credit: u/reduxde"

"I would pay double my Netflix subscription if Stranger Things Season 2 brought back Barb from a parallel universe who then confesses her love for Nancy. You? What would you do for a clone dyke Barb?"

"You know what I call a tube that comes with a caulk? A caulk block."

"The bottle said to apply liberally So I bitched and complained the whole time I used it."

"No one gave an f about his chicken when he was Lieutenant Sanders"

"My wife asked me if I knew the difference between ignorance and apathy...... I told her I don't know, and I don't care."

"Best thing I've seen on Facebook all day: ""I thought Ariana Grande was a font."""

"I lost two bagels on a public bathroom floor. Now they're pissed."

"I don't want you to feel like you can't express yourself, but I do want you to stop talking."