136929

Joke of the Day

"I take offense to this subreddit... ...and use it to keep the animals out."

"Saying ""Only in New York"" is just a way for you to cope with watching a bum pee on another bum that is shitting in the subway."

"I recently got addicted to this new only chicken diet Guess I'll have to go cold turkey if I want to stop."

"Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Truth or dare I: M: I:.. Dare M: I dare you to give me this job I:(under breath) Damn she's good"

"What is black on the bottom and white on top? Society."

"BOSS: I suspect one of you wrongly uses nouns as verbs. Everyone turns around and stairs at me."

"Yo mama is so fat that she needs a book mark to keep track of all her chin rolls!"

"Favourite one-liner? ""stationary shop moves"" - Jimmy Carr **Another favourite -** ""I keep my porno tapes in my sock drawer, it's all you need in one place"" - Jason Manford"

"Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the 2nd one would have ducked..."

"What's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag's a big plus."