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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Truth or dare I: M: I:.. Dare M: I dare you to give me this job I:(under breath) Damn she's good"

"This girl I'm currently seeing is very flexible, just what I like. She comes round every Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday."

"What's Batman's least favourite album? A Night at the Opera."

"My new girlfriend lets me lick anything off her and I love it. Butter, jam, cheese, you name it she lets me lick it off her. She's a cracker."

"How do you know a stranger could be an engineer? Don't worry they'll tell you."

"Why are giraffe's heads so far away from their bodies? Long necks."

"What do Ohio and Mackerels have in common? Nothing! Ohio is the only state in the United States that's name shares no letters with the word mackerel."

"What did the tectonic plate say when it had a collision? It's not my fault."

"""What? Why am I a part of this?"" - the horse you rode in on"

"How often do Chinese people have elections? When they wake up every morning."