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Joke of the Day

"I bought my kid some McDonald's today. He really doesn't like stocks though."

"*Trains lightning bugs to spell* Karen, they have a message for u WILL YOU M- ""Omg Yes!"" OVE OUT? Oh good. Here I packed your bags already."

"If a fish was trying to catch humans, what would the sport be called? Bass Murderering"

"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards into the water? If they fell forward they'd still be in the boat."

"A beautiful blonde walks into a bar, and asks for a double entendre. So the barman gives her one."

"What's fast and breathes fast underwater? Definitely not a toddler, I can tell you that now."

"Google Buzz is Facebook's estranged drug-addicted step sister who eloped with a hideously ugly rich guy named Gmail."

"Clubbing I never have a good time going out to clubs. I can't seem to hit on any girls. All my friends pay to get in and hopefully leave with a one night stand. I pay to stand for one night."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? racial prejudice"

"My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?"