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Joke of the Day

"If you play Stairway to Heaven backwards does it become Highway to Hell?"

"Hahahahah Wife: ""What are you doing?"" Husband : Nothing. Wife : ""Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."" Husband : ""I was looking for the expiration date."""

"Two tomatoes cross the road and one of them gets hit by a car. The other one looks back and yells ""C'mon, ketchup!"""

"Me: Did you hear what I just said? Him: Yes Me: What did I say? Him: Did you hear what I just said"

"In Soviet Russia... ...end of joke is when line punches *you*."

"I'm appalled by the amount of sex, violence and profanity on TV. It's too fucking low."

"I like asking girls if I can buy them a drink and when they say yes I yell ""YOU DON'T KNOW MY FINANCIAL SITUATION"" and run away."

"2 guys walk into a bar.. The third one ducked."

"Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it was mugged."

"What's the difference between Trump and a Tree? Only one can get stumped..."