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Joke of the Day

"I like asking girls if I can buy them a drink and when they say yes I yell ""YOU DON'T KNOW MY FINANCIAL SITUATION"" and run away."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy."

"A homely man is walking down the street... When a stranger sees him. The stranger exclaims ""Boy, are you fucking ugly!"" The man turns around and says ""Don't talk about my sister that way!"""

"If European in the bathroom, who's the guy on the floor? Himalayan"

"What did my wife say to me? I want a divorce"

"I'm on the bus now. Either the woman sitting right next to me has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokemons."

"Lobsters gonna lobst."

"I slept like a baby last night 2 hours of sleep and a whole lot of crying"

"A man on his deathbed told his wife he would like to make love one last time... She replied ""I'm the one who has to get up in the morning!"""

"If a dwarf gave a dollar to another dwarf they'd be a dollar short."