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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are in a tank One says to the other i'll man the guns you drive"

"Did you hear the one about Gilgamesh? It was epic."

"I went to a sperm bank to make a donation. This guy in the lobby came with me."

"My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy, she caught him cheating so she took away his play station for a week"

"Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge? Don't they want to get better?"

"Oh, I see. ""Adam and Steve"" is gay, but ""Adam dates his own rib"" is perfectly acceptable."

"If there was a race of the mentally disturbed, the necrophiliac would come in dead last Get it cus he bangs dead bodies?"

"Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith."

"[fans out the deck] Pick a card, any card.. Memorize it.. [hits you in the face with a shovel] KING OF SPADES! [walks off]"

"[drinks milk from carton] WHY AREN'T YOU USING A GLASS?!? ""I went to the eye doctor"" What does that mean? ""He said I don't need glasses"""