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Joke of the Day

"Oh, I see. ""Adam and Steve"" is gay, but ""Adam dates his own rib"" is perfectly acceptable."

"If someone is choking the best thing to do is ask them if they're okay repeatedly then if that fails give a concerned look until resolved."

"mom, pull over imma bout to throw up... West side california!! wit uppppp"

"Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it."

"Getting married lost its appeal as soon as I figured out that acquiring a maid of honor wasn't going to get my floors washed."

"why did the 2016 presidential election suck? It was a real Hack job."

"Asian Pregnancy Test: Insert Rubix cube into Vagina. Pull it out 30 seconds later. If its solved....... you are pregnant."

"What do you call a girl whose profile pictures are only facial close ups? Fat."

"What's big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you? A pool table."

"Everything in earthquake-prone areas should be built on top of a giant Tempurpedic mattress."