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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge? Don't they want to get better?"

"A priest asks a little girl what she knows about the resurrection She says ""I don't know much other than that if it lasts for more than four hours then you should call a doctor"""

"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants."

"Sue: I'm off to the hairdressers, what sort of cut would make me look beautiful? *giggles* Stan: A power cut."

"I heard you guys like corny jokes I'll give you an ear full : ^ )"

"On allegations of Mayweather beating his wife... He was undefeated, he couldn't let her win."

"What runs all day but never gets tired? Water."

"I accidentally gave my newborn Muscle Milk instead of formula and now he's blasting Pantera and doing one arm pull-ups off his crib"

"I'm currently between relationships. The couple on my right are kissing and I think the couple on my left are about to start doing it."

"if pointing out racism makes me a racist, then i'm going to start pointing out millionaires."