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Joke of the Day

"Me: This is the year I'm going to save money. Also me: *googles, ""how to purchase a baby elephant?""*"

"Artists can often be compared to a parabola After they compose, they decompose."

"If a guy says he can't feel anything while wearing a condom... Ask him if he can feel the money being sucked out of his paycheck for the next 18 years"

"Steven Tyler is aging pretty gracefully for a claymation skeleton who fell into a pile of feathers."

"So a Latvian man went to Idaho Because he died."

"I was going to tell a joke about sodium But Na"

"I wish there was a Mormon version of The Bachelor. That way none of the women would have to be eliminated."

"[jesus noticeably walking into work 3 days late] sorry i'm late i died"

"What did the egg say to the pan or boiling water? ""It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chicken."""

"ageism fascinates me because it's the only ism with this built-in inevitable irony. like, no racist gradually changes into a hispanic"