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Joke of the Day

"So a Latvian man went to Idaho Because he died."

"Scientists report global context shortage. ""I guess I'll have flan,"" some scientist said, totally out of context."

"What does Sting have in common with a snitch? They both sang at the police."

"TIN MAN: I want a heart COWARDLY LION: And I want courage ZOMBIE: Braaaaains ACTOR PLAYING COWARDLY LION: W-wait. Where the hell'd Ray go?"

"""Well, congrats. You're a homeowner now. Any questions?"" ""Yeah. Sam put those glasses on eBay, why didn't the Decepticons just bid on em?"""

"When my boyfriend gives me a hug during an argument, it looks loving, but I'm just patting him down to make sure he's not wearing a wire."

"A psychic walks into a bar... it was then that everybody realized she was a fraud."

"*pretending to talk on my phone so I don't look like a loser standing by myself* -Haha yea dude last night was craz- *phone starts ringing*"

"So Cologne, Germany during WW2 was bombed and decimated by fire. I am sure the fire smelled pretty nice."

"I ran over my wife yesterday I was devastated, but she was crushed"