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Joke of the Day

"*cop sees chalk outline on family's driveway* ""Damn, a cute bunny was murdered"" ""No, the kids who live here drew that, the body's over here"""

"[i walk in with broken ribs and face bleeding] yeah but you should see the other guy! [cut to: horse just chilling in a field enjoying life]"

"If Adrian Peterson played baseball, how would he bat? Switch Hitter"

"So my math teacher asked what I did over Thanksgiving... (-1)/8"

"What do you call a comedian who couldn't make it? Pun intended."

"You ever wonder why Sewage workers are so depressed? They're always down in the dumps"

"I think tomorrow I'm going to respond to everyone using only lyrics from songs by The Dead Deads. Wish me some luck at the DMV."

"All carpentry tool names were created by someone in desperate need of sex."

"I dated a mime that was a mistress Being tied up was a little complicated."

"My phone died and my buddy said I'm sorry for your loss... Where is the service?"