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Joke of the Day

"[i walk in with broken ribs and face bleeding] yeah but you should see the other guy! [cut to: horse just chilling in a field enjoying life]"

"An exchange in Frasier Niles: she was eerily calm. She just stood there rubbing her ocelot. Martin: you know they got a cream for that"

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964): An adolescent reindeer is first mocked, and then taken advantage of because of a birth deformity."

"teacher: i'm considering moving the test to next week. you guys down with that? me (too loud): down like the dog at the end of marley & me!"

"I tried making jokes about fat people ... but none of them worked out."

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes"

"Do you know why Parisians only have a single egg for breakfast? Because in France one egg is un uf."

"How do you get a drummer to drink a beer open it for him"

"Why were the Medieval centuries known as the Dark Ages? It was the knight time"

"TIL that 1/100 people have undiagnosed dyslexia Whoops, wrong bus."