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Joke of the Day
"What's E.T. short for? Because he has wee legs"
Next Joke
"What do you call it when a person acts holy for a night then sins every day after? A one night stand with Jesus"
"[pet store] Um hi can I have 4 turtles & 1 rat Clerk: hah trying to make ur own ninja turtles dude Me:*hiding miniature sai and katana* n no"
"""Life Is a Highway"" has gotta be my favorite song about having sex with a road"
"Why was the monkey attracted to the paint? Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke."
"If I had a time machine, sure I'd go back & kill Hitler, but first I'd pick up an ice cold Coca Cola Classic! (sponsored tweet)"
"Did you know there is a dating website for amphetamine addicts? Speeddating.com"
"When life gets you down, remember the immortal words of Monty Python. NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"
"No school tomorrow... Thanks Obama"
"Finally got funding approved for the gay club I'm opening in Prague. The Czech's in the Male"