200799

Joke of the Day

"Did you know there is a dating website for amphetamine addicts? Speeddating.com"

"What do you call a baby Muslim? A hand grenade."

"Food trucks were invented by a guy who really loved fast food but hated how cheap it was & how he didn't have to stand in line forever."

"""FOUR MORE YEARS!!! FOUR MORE YEARS!!!..."" - Honey Boo Boo's teachers her senior year of high school"

"How can you tell a Belgian in a submarine? He's the one with a parachute on his back."

"How do Mexican peanuts tell time? cacawatches"

"My wife ran away with my best friend... My wife ran away with my best friend. I don't know the guy, but he made me a huge favor so I consider him my best friend."

"I wish Kristen from finance would tell us her husband was an ""attorney"" one more time so I could feel better about shitting in her purse."

"How do you call it when a girl kicks a boy in the groin during the first date? Premature emasculation."

"Does Batman make this look bad? [http://i.imgur.com/aNurRdN.jpg](http://i.imgur.com/aNurRdN.jpg) I personally think it's funny, but it is pretty fucked up."