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Joke of the Day

"If I had a time machine, sure I'd go back & kill Hitler, but first I'd pick up an ice cold Coca Cola Classic! (sponsored tweet)"

"Are you a rational function? because I could ride your asymptote to infinity."

"Why did Ahmed Mohamed put his clock in a pencil case? because pipe clock would have just been stupid."

"What do the Superbowl and the OJ Simpson Saga have in common? They both feature a slow, old, white bronco."

"I spilled laundry detergent on my rug! It really tide the room together."

"What Christmas Carol do they sing in North Korea? We Three Kims"

"The best underwear jokes.... are brief."

"Dudes named Chance never had one."

"What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens? The Bawking Dead"

"I don't think I could ever fall in love with a midget... I don't think I could ever fall in love with a midget. But I guess it's better to fall in love with a small person, than not a tall."