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Joke of the Day

"Helium walks into a bar, the bartender says ""we don't serve noble gasses here""... helium doesn't react."

"What do you call a terrorist video store? Blockbuster"

"Damn girl, are you Obama? Cuz you know all my passwords, look through my phone, and spend my money on useless shit!"

"My garbage disposal can't even handle this banana and now I'm wondering if I actually have a garbage disposal."

"Oops, I ""accidentally"" left my in-laws at the grocery store. Darn. I guess I'll just have to get them Monday on the way back to the airport."

"A chicken and an egg were lying in bed... ..when the chicken turned to the egg, puffed from his cigarette, and said ""Well that answers THAT question!""."

"What's the stupidest animal you can find in a jungle? A polar bear."

"Boss: I'm sorry but we have to let you go. Me: Really? That's not what these pics of you and your secretary said. They said I need a raise."

"Statistics show.. that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gangbangs."

"Where do you go when you start up a videogame about Noodles? To the lo mein menu"