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Joke of the Day

"Boss: I'm sorry but we have to let you go. Me: Really? That's not what these pics of you and your secretary said. They said I need a raise."

"What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat ? 'Here Kitty kitty kitty' !"

"What language do farsighted people speak? Farsi."

"*hit man puts on silencer* *shoots gun* Gun: YOUR HAIR SMELLS NICE LIKE MY MOMS Wth? *looks at case* Oh I brought the awkward silencer"

"Hillary got 60% of the black's votes in Alabama That's right, not a single vote for Bernie."

"Sometimes I get to lazy to fini"

"If two people love each other nothing is impossible... Except deciding where to eat."

"Why is Dublin the capital of Ireland? Cause it keeps on Dublin and Dublin."

"Just drove past a new typewriter repair shop... That's not a front for anything illegal I'm sure..."

"Why didn't the feminist get a job at the post office? Because she refused to work in a mail dominated industry."