70415

Joke of the Day

"Oops, I ""accidentally"" left my in-laws at the grocery store. Darn. I guess I'll just have to get them Monday on the way back to the airport."

"A psychic Midget escaped from jail yesterday. The papers read: ""Small Medium at Large"""

"I just read that 25% of women in the United States take medication for mental illness... That's scary! Why do we let 75% of them run around untreated??"

"I wanna join a gang so I can get in a street fight with a rival gang and intimidatingly snap my fingers to a clever song about friendship."

"I'm good at 2 things: interviews and first dates... Turns out they're a bit alike. One gets me a job that blows, the other gets me a blowjob."

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Every time she gets to 69, she has a frog in her throat."

"My girlfriend really wants to try out some schoolgirl role play. However, I feel really uncomfortable wearing the dress..."

"I saw Kony kissing Santa Claus"

"What is a small, one story home made of poop called? A dungalow"

"*eats whole carrot cake* *waits for eyesight to improve*"