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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about the new Scientologist car? It's got cruise control..."

"The first thing I do when someone introduces themselves to me is forget what their name is."

"Have you ever heard of the ckicken plant? I guess the eggplant came first! I work at a grocery store and a guy in the produce department told me this. He thought it was hilarious"

"How does a nucleus get out of prison? Through the cell wall. *Badum tss* :D"

"I'm sorry I put a collar on your baby. I thought it was a Pug."

"Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your dog dance with you on it's hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it too."

"My dad said this at his retirement... he is a former principal ""I remember a time when Harass was two words."

"What Do you Call a Bowler that drops his ball a lot? Gutterfingers!"

"What do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows..."

"If you've watched even one episode of two and a half men... ...you're gonna need to go ahead and get yourself tested."