147315

Joke of the Day

"My dad said this at his retirement... he is a former principal ""I remember a time when Harass was two words."

"A morning-after pill but for when you accidentally hear a Maroon 5 song"

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat the fuck out of her so it doesn't happen again."

"Star Wars Rogue One - Crap Joke Casian - 'Jyn, we need to refuel our ship!' Jyn - 'K, to Esso!'"

"Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade? There were too many vets."

"Just realized why my Grandpa called his sideburns thigh ticklers Excuse me guys while I go walk in front of a bus"

"What do you call it when you hire your relatives to play with your nipples? Nippletism"

"Yes, Banner Ads, we want to check our Credit Scores. Almost as much as we want to pick people up at the airport and see our parents fucking."

"Why do midgets giggle when running through a field? The grass tickles their balls as they run."

"What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator."